just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
