Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
