Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
