I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
