woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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