Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
