I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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