im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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