He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Someone signed my nipple.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
