omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
