Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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