I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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