So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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