I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize