I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
