just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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