The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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