My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
