I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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