How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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