i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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