what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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