I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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