your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
