Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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