i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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