People in love make me want to vomit
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
