That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
