its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's blow job season.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
