There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
