I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
