the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
