I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
