lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
