Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
