He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
