You can't motorboat a personality
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Everything about him screamed your future.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
