What a fucking waste of an outfit
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
