Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
