You're my little dorito
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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