That's when you crack a 10am beer
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
