she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
