Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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