The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
COCAINE IS GR8
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
