I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
