Your dad touched me again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
