Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
