Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
