Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
id be glad to
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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