Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
