I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
