he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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