Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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