You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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