between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
