Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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