so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
